AI you dirty guy

You know that sounds you get when your computer receives a message/email/text from somebody and you are doing something else and drop everything to go answer that particular notification sound? I don't get many of those notifications so but I do get one I often, do stop what I'm doing go check it out. Many times it's something from somebody forwarding something they thought was interesting /  entertaining and sent to me. I very really check those out I don't have time for videos and silly things like that I tend to cave in and spend endless hours watching silly little tidbits a video. Anyway, today I get a notification and I think I was on my arm bike working out so I didn't pay much attention to it when I finished my arm bike workout about 45 minutes later I ended going back to my cell phone to check out at the notification was. And I get pissed off enough as I sort of indicated with all the video forwards and such for people that I know and I know I'm just on there list of Bunches of people that they send stuff to all the time and that's really frustrating but today actually it was a stupid bot or an AI indicated it wanted to get to know me better- - seriously those were the words that showed up in the text  “I want to get to know you better”. Needless to say, I was pissed. I'm so glad I didn't stop what I was doing and then strap to get to the notification. The stupid AI wanted to get to know me better that is so stupid. Of course I looked at the document after I got into it, after I finished my 1 hour arm bike ride. I was totally annoyed to get a notification from an AI who wants it wants to get to know me better. I've ranted about this before I have no desire to build a relationship with an AI. It was a creepy feeling. When I rented before I've talked about that movie where the actor hates Androids who are supposed to be helper units and he ends up getting a partner who's an Android. They end up making a relationship of some sort but I totally understand his revulsion and refusal to want to interface with the AI/ robot. I really am prejudice against AIS, they scare me and I know I've watched too many science fiction shows about giant computers taking over or trying to take over mankind. It worries me that it's happening at this point in time in our history. I mean the AI is is everywhere and now interrupting my solitude with stupid emails or text messages about wanting to get to know me better. I look to see if there was any way I could eradicate the message my text alerts / email and or whatever it is and I couldn't find a way to get rid of it I even want to make it hurt a little bit. I wanted to hurt his feelings, but you know they don't have feelings they're artificial intelligences the operative word here being artificial. They're pinocchios wanting to be boys, real life boys but that ain't going to happen….

Sunday morning coffee

 

I am so lucky that I have family that like to be with me. Speaking primarily of the Sunday morning breakfast team. My son and his daughter and her boyfriend which I think will end up being my grandson-in-law or however that works. We continue to meet Sunday mornings this little restaurant up the street from where I live. It's not the best food in the world and the help is pretty good the coffee's iffy but it's hot and they pay attention if your cup gets low but more than anything else at the time that we can get together and visit. I genuinely believe that we like each other's company. What kind of surprised that we've continued to meet on a weekly basis I wouldn't mind even if it was once or twice a month but right now I'll take the weekly meetings. We set the time for 8:00 a.m. and again I'm totally surprised that how often we make that time. There are times when they ask for an extra 15 minutes or 20 minutes that's okay. I established the time just because it fits in with my schedule of getting up early and dressed and out the door. I don't think I would like to do any earlier than 8:00 but this time works for us most of the time. My granddaughter is getting ready to go to school out of state in a month or so and when that happens she'll be gone from the morning breakfast. She says she'll come down on a regular basis but that might be asking a little too much just for breakfast maybe then we'll go to once a month. I was early getting to the coffee shop this morning and I decided just to wait it out for the kids to get there and as I did they brought me my coffee and the sun was just right and I noticed an abundance of steam coming off of my coffee and it was really cool. I took a couple images of the steam rising from the cup of coffee I don't know how well that'll come across but I thought I would put that up as my image for the weekend. Enjoyed shipping the coffee waiting for the kids to show up

Yesterday's rain moved on leaving the area with numerous records of rainfall for the short amount of time that the rain was here. The front brought in much cooler weather I actually took my blanket that I usually carry when it's really cold but I didn't need it but it was nice to be totally warm. Once again I didn't do much today aside from the breakfast with the kids. I feel so guilty doing as little with my time as I end up doing. But there's nothing I want to do that would take me away from the apartment I guess. Right now I'm favoring my butt a little bit just because I'm not bandaged up like I usually am to protect against pressure sores and skin breakdown. So any extra rolling could cause some serious issues, at least that's what I'm telling myself for laying back in my chair, taking the weight off my butt and watching Prime and Netflix and Disney all day long.

Beware the lightning!

Once again I was awake off and on early this morning sorry about 3:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. Etc. I would slide in and out of sleep so I guess I accumulated some sleep over that period of time but the last time around 6:00 a.m I was awakened by Thunder and flashes of lightning a great little storm rolling through the area. I laid back on my pillow for a second to enjoy the morning Thunder then all the sudden I was was totally freaked out but I realized lightning and thunder equals power outages. Power outages equals being trapped in my bed since everything in my bed is electric. Frantically I threw back my blankets best that I could and started the process of swinging my legs out over my bed and onto my wheelchair. I was terrified that I would get stranded in my bed but that's okay because I had access to myself on and worst case scenario I could scream and yell till somebody came and open the door. Luckily, there was no power failure this morning during the electric storm but doesn't stop the possibility that it might happen again. Remember a couple months ago during the summer I woke up in the morning and there was no power? I don't want to go through that again not one little bit.

I'm currently going through different websites looking at little power storage systems-like little power generators that I can have hooked to my bed and hopefully when the power is off I would be able to access one of these devices and continue on with my day. I'm not sure how that would really work as far as plugging in my bed as well as my chair well not so much my chair but the bed. Remember my bed goes up and down as well as the top portion lifts me up as well which helps me in my transfer from the bed to the chair. I've looked at some small generator Power Systems less than $150 that might do the trick except for I don't know how much amperage- - I guess that's the terminology for power usage an item might use. For example if the power system is not strong enough or does not hold enough power then when I use the power bed if it doesn't have enough wattage or amperage or whatever it is it would just not power the bed up or down which I need it to do. So my course of action now is going to be maybe talk to my brother Carl who knows all things like this or talk to somebody else who may or may not know this kind of information. One of the places I'm thinking of would be the guys over at u c a t Utah Center for assistive technology and see what they think. I I've also thought about contacting the makers of the bed and see if they have it published as far as how much power the bed takes to operate. These questions I should probably know by now in my life but I don't. I want to make sure that if I get such device I'm getting the right size and it will work the one and only time that I'm going to need it to work if ever. I have however thought about it might be a good way to add a little power to my power chair if we get into a point where the regular Power Systems aren't working on a regular basis so I can fill up the charger and then charge my batteries as much as it'll charge on the power chair. The power chair batteries are quite large and I'm sure the little system wouldn't put a lot of energy into the larger batteries but possibly enough to get by. Until the regular power is restored...

Finally friday!

 I've recently learned that one of my granddaughters is currently in the hospital. This is the first time I've been really aware of one of my grandkids going through something traumatic like this. Watched to make sure that the situation she's in doesn't get worse and have more medical intervention. I think she'll be okay at least I'm praying that she'll be okay. My biggest shoe now is how do I be a good grandparent through this whole idea. I knew when I ever had any issues like this I essentially got cards in the mail from my grandparents maybe a letter but the thing is usually just a card or so. I feel pretty awkward trying to be involved, I wish I knew her better and how to better support this person. Luckily her mother my daughter is sitting with her as much as she can. My daughter is fortunate enough that she basically can work anywhere as long as she's got access to the internet and she certainly does at the hospital. I guess it's just the thing of being a parent and our grandparent and family that people are going to get sick and need support somewhere along the line. I haven't had to really do that job too much through my whole grandfather career maybe it's time I need to step up to the plate and learn how to be more supportive and a grand grandfather.

I noticed today that I started my winter nesting Behavior. The weather guys have been talking all week about the storm coming in today, tonight for the temperature is going to drop like maybe 20° or something thunder and lightning snow in the higher elevations. This is truly going to be the first storm of the season. Whenever I hear this kind of talk I slip into survival mode. I want to make sure I have enough comfort food to get through the weekend. My comfort my food I'm talking about potato chips, grapes and a few candy bars. Going into the storm I feel doubly blessed in that my apartment is still clean from my off and on cleaning ladies visit earlier this week. I've been trying to keep everything pristine as long as I can but I think that's going to change tomorrow. So I can get a good night's rest I'm thinking of building a pot of spaghetti tomorrow. I think this would be perfect comfort food for a stormy weekend. I thought about just opening up two or three cans of stew and maybe make some cornbread or something but I've kind of been promising myself spaghetti for some time. I have some hamburger I've had out for the significant amount of time but it's in a sealed container/package so I assume that the hamburger still good if not it's time for a visit to the pantry for packages and or cans of stew.

I'm supposed to meet somebody tomorrow across the street at the coffee shop. I usually go to the coffee shop on Saturday mornings and sit, I know I've written about this before. This person has indicated an interest in the coffee shop I just don't know if that interest holds on blustery rainy Autumn Saturday mornings..

Losing sleep

 I'm not sure but I think I may have to stop my routine of watching local and national news starting at 5:00 p.m. on most of the days of the week. I say this because I'm getting these weird feelings of anxiousness some kind of anxiety and I'm not sure where it's coming from except for the only thing I can imagine is the constant stress that's going on in this country politically speaking. I try to stay away from political comments in my blogs just because they just seem to be everywhere and the world doesn't need another soapbox rant. But as far as my mental health is concerned maybe it's worth ranting about. I woke yesterday morning pretty early- - as usual- - actually worrying about folks with disabilities being rounded up and taken to some sort of facility to be neutralized, vanished or whatever term one wants to use to indicate that people that might cost the major population are being taken out and disappeared. A year ago I would have said that was really paranoid thinking. I wouldn't have thought twice about it actually will sometimes it's kind of fun to play that game of what if but nowadays it gets pretty spooky when I watch the news and see the ice people jumping off their trucks in their military fatigues and hooded heads and running after these folks that are theoretically in the country illegally and rounding them up in the trucks and taking them to who knows where for who knows how long and then what happens to them? For once even some of the people here where I live, mostly old people, are also beginning to consider what's happening. There's still a number of holdouts which worries me because I think they would actually March themselves into a gas chamber if they thought it was for the common good and to make life easier for young people. That's really crazy and begins to scare me a little bit. I saw something tonight on the news or they actually Drew parallels between Hitler's 1930s and what's going on now. Been I have been trying to bring this attention for some time now but seem to fall on deaf ears but now someone else's seeing it and I can't believe people aren't doing anything about it. I mean there are blatant laws being broken and no one's doing anything about it I mean at the legislative level I mean Congress and stuff. They're just letting them get away with it and falling back on the old legal court system and stuff and I know that's all we've got but pretty soon it might be too late. Anyway I was laying in bed and wondering is this what a coup feels like? But there's an uprising of the people going against the dually elected folks- - or when the duly elected folks keep doing things that are against the middle class and lower class populous making decisions cutting programs all aim to increase the wealth of the upper middle class. I doubt we're ever going to get back to where we were I just don't know where we're going and Hope I'm not in the crosshairs of anyone's political weapons..

Working Wednesday

After yesterday's rain and blustery wind today sunshine felt like a gift. I really didn't take that much advantage of the sunshine except for a Sprint over to the market to get a roll of quarters. I was busy most of the day just piddly things- the kind of things that make life somewhat interesting. Today was chore day so I had to wash the clothes actually Melissa through the clothes in the washer and then later into the dryer and started the load drying. And then I go and dry the load a second time to make sure the whole caboodle is dry. The point being however is that I'm locked into hanging out here at the apartment until the drying is finished. I also have to manage one hour of my day for my bike ride or my arm bike workout which is 1 hour. Luckily, on the third day of my 1 hour workouts my resistance is at the third level which is the lightest. I didn't really listen to whatever is being broadcast on NPR during this workout unless it's like tomorrow when I only have to do 20 minutes working out to get to my 200 minutes for the week. So if that's the case I can often listen to one of the other broadcasts on NPR. There's a couple of really good shows of course fresh air is always available and I tried to back up their copies as well as Radio West. Radio West is good but somewhat slanted. They really do some good investigating and it's usually about something to do with Utah and one sword or another. The other large part of my day- today anyway- - is the visit from my quasi cleaning person/friend / old CNA, Gloria who does it really great job in the one hour or so that she's here. She always brings her dog star who's got some major medical issues but just hangs out around the apartment or Gloria works. We visit quite a bit during the cleaning and I enjoy your company. Like most CNAs she has a really difficult life, making ends meet and keeping her life going. I really admire these people. I get a little spooked sometimes with the current presidential Administration and all the cuts they are making to different programs and systems. A lot of these CNAs will no longer be working if that's to happen. Fortunately, I think, since I'm self-pay I'll try to keep one of these two somewhat current on trying to keep my place clean and I can't pay them very much and certainly not what they get or need from the agency work they have when they work but maybe I can keep them surviving until the current Administration quits are the whole system collapses in on itself then it's tits up for everybody that anyway. I walk in the middle of the night actually worried about the economy and for the current Administration seems to be taking the American public. I went over so many weird scenarios trying to get back to sleep I never really did. I mean if the government Falls or if there's a coup d'etat or whatever this country should just fall apart. I may have to stop listening to the news or watching the news. I think I'm becoming too paranoid of the collapse of this Union.

The reason I had to run to the market was too get quarters for my cleaning person. I don't know why I didn't remember this but I usually pay her with at least one roll of quarters and she went out of her way to let me know today that she needed quarters and I was totally out. I had a few unwrapped quarters left over from the wash which I was able to give her but I had to replace the quarters in case I needed to do anything wash wise. So, it was a beautiful day temperatures almost perfect I even worse short sleeves but I was pretty much anchored into the apartment all day maybe tomorrow will be different …

Rainy afternoon

Don't get me wrong I don't not like riding the bus in fact I quite enjoy the experience but sometimes things get a little spooky and I how wise riding the bus is. The day was a little bit challenging the storm front is moving through the state today a low pressure system bringing clouds, rain and lower temperatures. And of course yesterday was beautiful for writing the bus and being outside but today since I have to go out in the morning to get to my meeting it's going to be inclement weather probably even coming home. Later on in the day clears up but going into the office I was rejected the cooler winds with more rain than I wanted to deal with. Now a lot of this is my fault, not the weather so much as not wearing the jacket. I truly thought about it and even got my red jacket out of the closet but it just seemed too heavy for the day and knowing my luck I was sure that if I were to wear this jacket the clouds were dissipate early in the day and I'd be lugging around this old heavy thing for the reminder of my trip out. So I left the red jacket big mistake. Fortunately however I did wear a long sleeve shirt in the shirt that was relatively heavy enough to keep me kind of warm. There's also this weird phenomenon that even though the rain was falling and cold there seem to be intermittently mixed with the cooler Breeze warm breezes that certainly did not dry me out at all but took the chill away to some degree I was thankful for that.

My assist meeting was relatively uneventful. Not a whole lot of documents to sign off on but we got through them and then visited for a while. I stayed longer than I wanted to just because I wanted to see if the rain would let up which you kind of did thank goodness. I had to get some change from my bank so I could have funding to pay my person who might come by tomorrow and put a little clean on the apartment. I was sprinkled on intermittently on my trip to the bank but it wasn't too bad then it was over to Taco Time where I got a fairly decent lunch to crisp tacos and cheesy tater tots and they gave me a drink for free that was great. There's a bus stop right outside the Taco Time downtown Salt Lake and I decided I would just catch the bus home and not try to go to the four blocks over to track station. The rain was light at this point and not too bad waiting for the bus which came relatively shortly but the bus was weird and smelly. I don't know if it was the cooler weather or just the fact that more smelly people came out today or it might have been the heater at the bus driver was using on the bus which was Grand as far as I was concerned. But the people who are writing today were boisterous and kind of scary. The image I have on the posting today is a person who was very unresponsive but had a quick smile and was probably somewhat attractive of it different point in his life. Now he was almost a zombie can barely understand when he spoke but he still had a quick smile and an interesting face. For some reason the other passengers knew him and made sure when to stop came he wanted he would be able to get off what you did. There are other people I didn't get an image of that at one point in time broke out and very loud screaming and yelling. I wa s impressed because the driver swung the bus over immediately to the side of the road and then demanded both of these guys get off his bus- - and they did. They apologize profusely to not only the bus driver but to the rest of the people on the bus about how inappropriate the behavior was but still they weren't getting a reprieve they were out in the Cloudy afternoon with spots of rain…

Monday meanderings

 It has been another long day but productive All Things Considered. I just returned from the front of the building where the post boxes are dropping off October's kid letters. I spent most of the day working on the kid letters to get them out. I only had one set back early on and that was the ink in the printer had either dried up or run out. I kind of think the ink dried up. It seems like the only time I use the printer anymore is to print the kid letter project so that's printing letters plus the envelopes. Luckily and I want to Pat myself on the back a little bit that I had another cartridge ready to go so I opened it up slipped it on the printer- - and then making that sound a lot easier than it was - - and put it the envelopes. I'm always a little terrified when I start the project that something's going to go wrong but ugly things have gone right the last couple printouts and that's great. I really am quite fortunate to get the project done before the end of the month even if it's just one day. Boy there was a lot of things I could have done to defeat my project but I stayed true to the point and got the project complete that's just too cool.

As I indicated I didn't do much more than that throughout the day except for making a mad run over to the market I realized that I didn't have the cash allotments I needed for the letters. I just had the twenties left over and that wasn't enough to send the kids I mean I needed to break the 20s into 10 so I could put the $10 bills in the letters. This was even during the NewsHour that I made my Dash for cash. Proud of myself for missing the news it's also Dreadful anymore I shouldn't listen to the news local or national at all. The news is just so depressing anymore it's just too bleak. Earlier in the evening I did make the call over to assist and it looks like we will be meeting tomorrow for the regular meeting. Tomorrow should be a long sleeve shirt day since it's supposed to rain and it'll be a bit cooler as well. It truly is going to be fall like it or not. Oh that's right I also did my own bike today for the 1 hour so I squeezed a lot of stuff into the day all things considered. I just wish I had more to show for it. I didn't sleep that well waking up and having to pee in the middle of the night which I achieved but slashed a little over on the pad luckily the pad caught everything and it didn't get my sheets wet at all that's great. I know this posting is going to pay you way short of the 500 words that I promised myself that I write everyday and I kind of feel bad about that but I need to get myself into bed and that takes a bit of time so I'm having to just have a shorter posted

Sunday's significance

I think the most significant thing I do on Sundays is having breakfast with the family or what family I have here in Utah. I'm speaking of my immediate family my kids! I have a set of kids that aren't here live in Oregon that I wish to join us for her Sunday morning breakfast. I think we have a lot of good conversation and enjoy each other's company. As a real we generally don't get into politics are significant National events primarily because not everyone comes from the same political Arena. I was kind of shocked when I finally realized this. Whenever I would start criticizing the local Administration one of the members of our group would get very quiet and kind of look away. Then I got to wondering what the other kids felt like. I know one is of the same elk as myself and I think the granddaughter is two - - kinda. I'm not really sure if she's actually made up any commitments to the current Administration. I don't think she's as involved as her boyfriend who I do believe is very conservative more than I realized. Sometimes we get carried away with the national events when they either affect us or myself too closely. Or some national event is so significant- - like an assassination- - that we can't help but not communicate about such a thing. Some of these things go beyond political and really focus on civilian civility and how Society seems to be unraveling. Luckily members of our morning breakfast group I've just gotten a dog in the last 3 or 4 months actually a darling puppy and when things get a little tense the pups owners drag out the cell phones and we all bask in the sweet pureNess of the Little Beast and it really diffuses the tenseness of the previous conversation. I don't know how ethical this is but it certainly worth bending my ethics a little bit in order to keep peace at The Breakfast Table. 

I spent a good part of the remainder of the day writing my kid letters I am kind of shocked at how quickly the month ends or more succinctly how quick the first of the month creeps up on me. The October letters went pretty quickly this month. October is such a month of change it seems to me. Especially with folks into their first full month of school after summer break. This Clues everything from being in the classroom in public school to those first classes and mixers at the University level. That's true, I've got grandkids now in college/ University which totally blows me away. I kind of Envy my grandkids starting Autumn quarter at High School in the universities. Always makes me think of Rod Stewart's Maggie May. I need to set some time aside and dig out my old copy of Maggie May I have buried somewhere deep on one of my hard drives. Yesterday I was out on the patio laying back in the Sun and reading my new novel when one of the other folks who live at this apartment complex shuffled up and entered into a conversation. It was such a pleasant day I didn't feel too annoyed at being pulled out of my volume. The best part of this encounter was she handed me an apple. She left soon after and even though the Apple was quite small it was quite delicious and I totally enjoyed the sweetness and the flashback the flavor produced. I was immediately transported back to the White Chevrolet van I shared with the number of other professionals providing Medical Services to low income folks and minority folks in Southwest Idaho. We rode Clinic everyday from Boise to Homedale Idaho. Our journey took us through the Apple Country and we often stopped on the way back, through these Orchards, install a few of the precious orbs of flavor. For the Glorious time…

Lanyard Woes

 

Once again time has gotten away from me. It's almost 11:00 on Saturday night and I really need to get into sleep mode so I'm going to get up in time for a breakfast in the morning with the kids. At this point however I don't know if we're going to have it I have not heard from anybody even though I've sent out a couple of inquiries regarding whether or not it will be meeting for breakfast. I will still show up even if I don't hear from anybody worst case scenario I have breakfast by myself and that's really not so bad. It is a little strange however not hearing from anybody at this hour of the night. It'll be okay it always says.

I don't remember if I told you folks, and I'm too lazy to go back and check, but the plastic cover which holds the bus pass that I use, on a daily basis, hooked to my lanyard is about ready to fall off. I purchased those plastic holders yesterday remember? And today, of course after I purchased it, I found a very nice lanyard in my bookcase. It only needs a new container for the bus pass. I finagled a little bit and found that the new plastic sleeves will accept the bus pass I now have to just take the old container off the lanyard, that container will not hold the bus pass so I have to put a new one on. The trouble is it takes a lot of hand function to provide this change. I'm hoping that if I take the bus pass and the plastic container that Marc Anthony or one of the kids will be able to make the switch. I'm sure they'll be able to pull that off with little problem. Especially Jackson he does this kind of stuff really well. I tried a couple times today but just realized I just don't have what it takes to open up the ring that holds the container. I'll do okay and I'll get the switch done one way or the other. Aside from that it's been a fairly quiet day. The weather is great temperature in the 80s this afternoon. I did coffee this morning over at the shop across the street. That's always enjoyable and more importantly gives me something to tell folks on Monday that I did something over the weekend as opposed to staying in my apartment enjoying the solitude but at the same time it looks bad as far as not getting out and doing anything. It's getting very close to the end of the month so I really need to be doing my kid letters soon. It won't take long in fact I might be able to do them all tomorrow , Sunday. I can do them if I just keep focused but I've got a number of days before the first of the month. I'm pretty sure my printer will be working just fine and I'll get some time.

S i g h!

 I think I've rattled on before about how painful it is to go to the mailboxes at the front of the building, go through the effort of sticking the key in the front of the box then opening said box only to find advertisements and very circulars inside. It seems if I get any mail that's government issue type stuff. So, nowadays I just go down to the mailbox once every two weeks or so and empty out the garbage. I sort most of the stuff out there dumping as much as I can so I don't have to bring back to the apartment. I did this yesterday and there is a couple of pieces of mail I end up keeping to open up back in the apartment which I did this one last. I thought sure it was an advertisement from my durable medical provider but actually what it was was a denial service. The season reader will remember that I've been trying to get a new chair for the last year or so. I've been denied all the way around but this last summer when I dropped in for my physician's appointment and he saw the condition of the chair I was in he got all involved. He actually let me believe that he had written a letter and had gotten responded to and it was positive but in yesterday's mail I had the letter and I open it up at the dinner table tonight- - like I said I thought it was just an acknowledgment that the fact that my chair was on its way. I sort of got the impression that have been okayed earlier in the month from my durable medical person but he was obviously wrong. This document was a two-page document indicating that I was not eligible for a chair yet and will not be eligible until I think June of 2026 specifically June 20th 2026! This information didn't devastate me I've sort of given up on the whole concept anyway. And as Melissa, my CNA, indicated that we'll just have to keep this chair going for another year. Right now it seems to be in a fairly good place as far as operating as a chair should. The only thing I'm having an issue with these days is about wheelchair cushion which now I'm definitely going to have to get a new one. I'm using a backup cushion that I got on one of my other chairs because the cushion I was in or on and using b l e w apart a couple weeks ago. I've been using the backup one that's really not fit for the chair and doesn't fit me very well and doesn't have a whole lot of padding. It's just frustrating. My course of action will be to send this document over to my main physician, the one that was so verbal in letting me know that he wasn't going to let the government tell him that his patient couldn't get what my doctor felt the patient needed. I don't know and that this will do any good.

I put on about 3 miles on my chair today which doesn't sound like a lot but really kind of is when you add in the train and the bus modes of transportation. The public transit handles long trips and the chair is just for going back and forth to the transit points as well as cruising around the community where I ended up going. Today I had to go to the credit union they get enough cash to last me through to the first of the month. I need cash for tips for my care person as well as my cleaning person. I guess I could give them checks but cash they can do whatever they want and it's one less hope they have to jump through…

Kids and strollers. ARRRGH!

My one and only means transportation in the Salt Lake area or any area for that matter is public transportation and that's good. I fought my entire work live here in Utah for a public transportation that's accessible to everybody and particularly people with disabilities. It's so frustrating to have done that for as many years as I have and realize that it really hasn't made a difference. Oh I guess I can gain Solas from the idea that all the buses are now accessible and if a person has patience they can go about anywhere they want that the bus line goes. Truly, the bus are public transit, with the help of my powered chair allows me to get to anywhere I really want to in this particular City. That is of course if they'll pick me up. Today I was passed over twice at the same bus stop because the driver told me the bus was just too full. On one bus it was full of high school kids who had just got out of school and I was glad to wait for the next bus just because that is so chaotic traveling with that many kids. The next bus that stopped had not only people sitting in the wheelchair accessible seat spaces but they were like baby strollers or kids strollers. Kids stroller seems to be the new thing where bigger kids who can watch now have the strollers that they can be pushed around in as well as stack everything else at the mother might have. These devices take up the wheelchair accessible spots. In the old days when people with disabilities were trying to find access to the public accommodations I remember discussions with the Utah transit authorities board of directors and general staff about this particular problem of strollers taking up this needed space and people with disabilities should have a right to their spots able-bodied people should be able to give these spots up. In fact, and I've got to follow up on this, I remember there was discussion about changing policy that people who had strollers or kids and strollers a little wagons or whatever would have to pull them apart to make them accessible to the bus and so they wouldn't take up the wheelchair spaces. Of course did not hold much water and I don't think really it's been enforced unless somebody like me who is just pissed off enough to bring it out but even then the driver won't really enforce the rule. And the drivers are the main ruling force on any bus. So I got passed up twice almost a third time but I pretty much forced myself onto the bus at that point and this was after I rolled away from the one bus stop to another where I anticipated there be less possibility of getting bumped by an Able Body and the disabled sitting area. Later on my travel back to my apartment these kids get on the bus with their mom and stayed there until I finally was able to get off and get on my way.

What great day, today was, not bad for traveling not too hot not too cold, no wind or rain or snow. I could wait and I did wait but I'll certainly glad to get home and all the sudden done…

Wonderful Wednesday

 It was finally Wednesday, the day has a little worried about especially for the standpoint of doing my first food box day. Not only that but I was also slated to see my physician at the IHC medical tower. Remember I was so worried because Wednesday everything happens today. So we put off the the time for the food box by a couple hours basically to 10:00 giving me time to finish up my toileting and getting ready for the day. Following doing the food bank had to wait a couple hours and go over to Intermountain Healthcare for my medical appointment which is just a follow-up not very stressful at all. And I was so freaked out about the wash remember that I usually do on Wednesday that I did yesterday. As I thought about this whole scenario I figured that I could have just gone ahead and kept everything the way that it was washed the clothes on Wednesday and folded them and still been able to do all that while doing the food Box Thing. There's times I could have just taken off during food box change the clothes from the dryer to the basket and drugs at home could have been all done on Wednesday and I think I will try to do that next month to see how well it works. In fact I didn't even do the clothes yesterday after I got him out of the dryer and brought them home and folded and hung them up this morning as I was waiting for Melissa to get here so everything worked out. Maria who should be doing the food box anyway did the food box with me today and basically did all the work. I learned a few things but basically it's not very intense at all and I think I should do well. The only thing I was not able to do today and I probably could if I still want it wanted to was the arm bike. But I think I'm too tired at this point I still have a number of days to get in my 200 minutes I'm up to 120 right now so it's really just one more hour and 20 minutes on top of it we should be easy peasy in the next couple of days. Kind of fun what I did tonight I stopped off at Walmart on the way home- I took the 54 rather than the 47- - I actually bought a pizza not necessarily Frozen but it was a medium sized Supreme. I brought home on my lap with no incidents or problems and cooked it this evening. Any Pizza is good pizza if you ask me. This pizza did not taste as nice as I would like to have not enough tomato sauce and a little salty but all in all it was fun cooking and had a couple pieces for dinner it was a nice change the most important thing I learned on this pizza thing was that I could bring it home on my lap without issue it still works. I don't know if I would do that with a Domino's pizza cooked and smelling wonderful but it's worth a shot just saying…

Tuesday's timeline and an old friend

 

When I went to bed last night my left foot was just aching so bad I was sweating all over and I don't know what was wrong with that foot. It was still tender this morning. It's the big toe of my left foot and sometimes it just really really hurts like I've broken something and I don't think the toe looks that good but still I put my shoes on today because I was going to go to my meeting downtown and I got myself completely dressed before 7:00. When I go to that meeting downtown I have to leave here about 9:35 to catch the bus to get into the downtown area. My meeting is typically at 11:00 and I hit the library around 10:15 and I spent a lot of time looking at the new books especially in the fiction section where they have the displays up. Anyway I was sort of sucker punched when I called in just to make sure they were having to be in my person there told me that he was not going to have the meeting we didn't have enough names to really consider and make it worthwhile for me to come in. That was greatly relieved and spent the day more or less working around the apartment. Our processed a lot of food product to make my dinner tonight which was rice and vegetables stir fried. I kind of destroyed the kitchen but I enjoyed making the dinner and then eating my portion of it leaving enough left over for meals till the end of the week. Oh yeah also I did the washing the clothes washing which I usually do or have done on Wednesdays- I usually have my person start the laundry and I collect it when it's done and bring it back to the apartment to fold and hang the clothes. But since tomorrow Wednesday I have to be on the road after I do the initial food box I have to then go to the doctor's appointment in the afternoon. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to do all that and wash clothes and take care of them at the same time even if Melissa starts the whole thing. And to be honest I still have to fold the clothes I don't know if I'm going to do that before I go to bed or wait till tomorrow morning. I still have to sweep the floor maybe wash out a pot or two from dinner.

I was pleased when I got a text from my good friend JC from the old days. We have been texting kind of the last couple of days and I really needed to talk with him just because I had to have some validation from the old days and JC is one of the only few people around in my life anymore that really knew me when I was me before the accident. I know that sounds really bizarre and I guess it is to a certain point but it's true. We are really close growing up me and JC and our brothers. There is a period of time where we did everything together that was possible to do as far as kids going to school riding the bus snowballing cars then getting beat up by The Cars we'd still bald are the drivers thereof. We took over a dried up boat dock from the old River and that was our clubhouse down in the woods from the river. We spent many days there in the summer smoking cigarettes and swimming and just hanging out. It seems like it was a long time but I'm sure it was really brief. The days of our youth…

G

Bachelor buttons and rain

It has been another long day. I did not intend for it to be long but it lengthened just the same. This also seems like it's the best place to insert the fact that Autumn started today about 1:30 or something like that. I can't say that made the day any longer but it sort of made sense in a weird sort of way. Right now I'm kind of fixated on trying to find a bag of bachelor buttons. You know bachelor buttons are a button device that you pound through the fabric into a connector on the other side and it locks so you have an instant button on the Garment you're trying to repair. They're really great and you don't have to do any sewing. I found this perfect for my limited hand function but being able to repair pants whose buttons disappear. I tore a button off one of my favorite pair of shorts last week and so I've been trying to make time to take off to Walmart or somewhere to find a bag of these bachelor buttons. I was going to go directly to the sewing shop not far from here it's a quick bus trip but my home health person said to try Walmart they have everything. It didn't have the bachelor buttons however. So I'm still focused on trying to find these bachelor buttons so I can repair my shorts. I need to purchase a couple more pairs of shorts for next summer as well but right now it's the bachelor buttons.

Just one note of entertainment that happened to me on this jaunt to find the bachelor buttons. I had rolled over across the street to the bus stop and the sudden shiny when I left the apartment but there were clouds everywhere and the Sun was shining through here and there. But of course because I was sitting there waiting for the bus probably the one cloud with enough moisture in it to cause a rain storm caused a rainstorm right on top of me. Made me feel like a Charles Schulz cartoon for one of the peanuts Charlie Brown usually has a rain cloud above his head and it's raining on him and nobody else. That's how I felt it wasn't just a Sprinkle it started I was just a Sprinkle but quickly turned into real rain storm stuff and I got soaked but I didn't try to change my clothes or anything I just kept waiting for the bus and it came. My shirt finally dried somewhere in the afternoon as I was rolling around. I think it sort of gave me the sniffles though but that could be my hypochondriacle Behavior. I just hope that if I get enough sleep I'll be functional for tomorrow. It will be a another day on the bus and the train as I have assist, Inc. in the morning. As I mentioned earlier in this blog Autumn started today officially and everything seems a little bit cooler even when I'm in the Sun. So I know it'll be chilly when I take off for my meeting just hope I'll be able to generate the heat that I need to stay well so I can get back home. Looks like a busy week at least the first part on Wednesday I have the food box thing and then I have to go to a doctor's appointment for the South. It's also a poop day and I'm still worried about that situation. Every time I think it's settling down it starts acting up pretty frustrating…

 

Unhand me evil internet

I finally broke free of a clutch that my tablet had on meFor the last 45 minutes. About 8:00 I rolled into the bedroom to update my blog and as I was getting myself situated getting comfortable to dictate I thought I would just check out one of the icons that had a number of like 15 on it so I just see if there was anything there interesting and of course I immediately get sucked into the black hole of the reels or video shorts but seem to plague the internet these days. I don't know if it's AI or whatever evil plan out there to trap inquiring minds might be but if I don't watch out it can certainly get me pull me down the rabbit hole never let me go until 45 minutes an hour maybe 2 hours later and it's nothing I really want to see it's all stupid stuff. I guess I sound a little immature lashing out at something like the internet over something my weakness is causing me to have bad thoughts about and blame it on the internet when it's my own will that needs to be taking control.

I really suck her for her clips from Seinfeld for instance. They're just so entertaining and then I also really like the survival videos like when they go and find an abandoned cabin or cave or they have to pitch a tent in a rain storm or snow storm. I like to see them harvesting dry wood to use in their fires all night and then I like to see them building the fires and making sure they have enough firewood and they cooking their meals. It's stuff of course I will never be able to do hell I don't even think that's able bonding I would do such a thing but it's interesting to see these guys do it. Another thing, which I think I may have written about before, are the new videos and reels of folks cleaning up other people's yards I mean really clean them up exposing sidewalks that haven't been exposed for decades chopping down trees clipping limbs Deadwood then heaps of grass and they do it for free. I don't necessarily think these are contrived or sort of made up videos but somehow I really don't believe them that they do all this stuff for free. I understand there's some degree other people support their websites that they post these little videos on to begin with and maybe that's true that's how they do it. Similarly there are videos and clips of people with an inordinate amount of money. I mean stacks of money that they're able to go around and give this money away to people on the street in some cases folks who really really need it you can tell. I don't think they're actors. I don't want them to be actors. I want this to be real. It's kind of creepy when you think about how these videos are actually getting as much play time as they do. I think it's a shame that these folks have nothing better to do then too make these videos and probably even a bigger shame that folks like myself spend way too much time leaning on their bed with their tablet and hand watching me silly pieces of video when this should be doing something else if not just sleeping…

What is happening to me!?

 I'm sitting here patiently waiting for my home health person to show up to clean me up after another bowel movement incident! You know I used to have a problem like this every couple years then in the last decade it's got to be once or twice a year and this is after my stenosis. For my stenosis I was strong enough that I could transfer myself from the chair come on my wheelchair, onto the commode do my business and get back again. I've been fortunate over my disabled life to be able to know when I needed to use the restroom or when a bowel movement was imminent. However, with the stenosis and the operation afterwards leaving me so weak that I had to give up pushing my manual chair and go full-time to my power chair and not being able to transfer at all my life took another Dreadful turn. Well not super Dreadful but sad just the same that just another ability I can't do anymore. Even with that however I've only had a couple mishaps but they seem to be coming more and more frequent which kind of frightens me. I know that I talked about this before in one of my other posts about being able to accept the issue of pooping my pants and now being able to write about it but still it's frustrating and limiting as far as what I can do. I guess on the one hand I should be thankful that I can have the resources to call somebody to come and assist me when the issue arises. I even have family members who volunteered but I just assume have caregivers outside of the family as much as I can. Like I said I'm blessed with the ability now too pay for stuff like this when I need it- - I know it will not always be that way. Perhaps I will be able to go to a point where after I've had to get rid of all my finances and go on state assistance and not have to pay for home care with my own resources maybe that'll be a lot less stressful for me. This of course is predicated on the idea that we have a support system in this country that still assists people like myself to be as independent as possible. That might be a thing of the past. And actually it will not be probably an issue for me either because the way things are going now people like myself will be carted off and executed. It's really becoming a bit of a frightening time. Until such time however I plan to keep myself as independent as possible and as much as I can not be a burden to those I love in my life. Case in point I've already canceled tomorrow's Sunday breakfast because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to hold my bowel movement through the night, so I canceled. Now however if I get out of the toilet or whatever before tomorrow morning maybae I can still consider the option we'll have to see…

Iron Man

 I just lost 45 minutes going down a video rabbit hole. I started to write this posting around 8:30 p.m. and for one reason or another I checked my messages and in doing so happened to notice an interesting videos are reels offering, you know something that looks really interesting like red chili peppers and how they make the pepper kind of an interesting video but totally takes away from what I'm trying to do and that kind of hate myself when I'm finished watching it. Each one of those videos seems to lead to another. Sometimes I like to just start watching and then discontinue just to see how strong I am see if I have the ability to do such a thing. I know it's kind of silly but I just like to think I have control over the videos that are rampant out there on the internet. I just can't believe what people watch I noticed it first when all of a sudden I kept seeing these survival type videos of people setting up Emergency Shelters and like snow storms rainstorms or wind storms. Then all the sudden I started seeing these guys walking around with literally hands full of money giving this money away to people on the streets and more likely than not poor people. The most recent that I've noticed is the one where folks go around asking people if they can clean up their yard or dig out their driveways from all the weeds and overgrowth they've had from years and years. A lot of these folks are seniors who have given up on trying to maintain their yards and growth. They of course do it for free and it really is sort of a nice gesture. I just wonder how much of this stuff is really true and how much is that it's just Showmanship or actors going through the deception. I really wonder about this with a guys packing around hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash. But I am a weak vessel and easily sidetracked. However, now at 9:22 p.m. I'm back on track putting down a few thoughts for the blog- - and probably this blog is no better than the videos just slower to get through cuz you have to read and not just watch.

I watched a couple of series today when I finally finished, Wednesday, a bizarre little Netflix series that was questionable at best but I kind of enjoyed it. So when I finished I needed to do something else and I finished my last batch of gruel last night for dinner and felt a bit inspired to perhaps make some more but I would have to have celery at least which means that's a trip to the market. This is okay with me I see this as part of my daily socialization routine to where I'm forced to look halfway presentable travel across the street to the market make some decisions on what to purchase then interact with the checkers. Actually there was a reason I went specifically to the market and that was to purchase a bottle of iron pills. It seems like I'm low in iron the last couple times I've gone to the doctors visits and they've indicated I should be taking some. I tried to do that for a while and then lost interest after I tipped over the bottle and lost most of the pills. Well I'm going to try again to see if I can build my blood back up. It's all kind of freaks me out to say the least. I don't think I'll be getting there until Monday however and live it up until then …

Thursday's thoughts

 I do not know what I've done to my cell phone but yesterday during my minor meltdown and trying to find more space and get my Google account back to normal I did something that is driving me crazy. Now when I try to access my cell phone to go to a certain page or whatever when the cell phone reacts there's a small padlock in the top of the page demanding a password. Just started this morning first time that I could remember seeing it was mid-morning. I didn't know what to do. I guessed at the password and was totally shocked when the cell phone opened up and allowed me to go to the different items I have on the cell phone. However, when I stop doing what I'm doing or I leave the cell phone page for another page then I try to go back early the phone down for one reason or another and pick it up again that padlock is at the top of the page and won't let me do anything until I submit another password. It may have started last night actually when I didn't act quick enough during the day when I was notified that I was out of space on my tablet. I think I've been out of space on the tablet for some time and my Google account that I have the one where it gives you 100 GB of space Storage was not accredited with my $1.25 or how much I pay a month for the space. And again I don't know why all of a sudden my credit card you got dropped off and wasn't functioning I had to reestablish my presence on the platform again with a new credit card. And somewhere I did something I think that's caused me to lock up my cell phone each time I want to use it I have to open up or submit another password, the same password but you know what I mean I have to submit the password. Is that too weird or what? Anyway, I'm more happier note I was getting ready for the coffee group this morning and I found the glasses I couldn't locate yesterday which caused me to start that giant search for another pair of glasses. That was good because the repaired glasses the lens popped out and that means I can't use them so luckily I've got the backup glasses I lost and I can use those until the new pair I got yesterday comes in. That's a good thing? I think the only option I have open to me now is to maybe snag mark this weekend to see if he can figure out what I did to lock myself out of the cell phone. I just hate passwords and I'm still astounded that the password I sort of put together worked.

Do you remember earlier this summer I was impressed with myself that I was able to open up the sliding window next to my bed? Was now fall and the evenings are getting cooler. When I go to bed it was actually cold the last couple of nights. Once I finished reading turned off the lights to go to sleep it was quite cold luckily I had my third pillow that I could put over my head and wander off into sleep with my second pillow, my clutcher, firmly clutched allowing me to wander off into sleepy land. It actually kept me asleep until 6:00 a.m. that hardly ever happens. I guess I'm just plain lucky right now, use the luck while I've got it that's all I can say ….

Z q

Good vision: a financial assault

 

This was my vision after the optometrist put the drops in my eyes to make them big

I just finished and hellacious hour trying to figure out how to get my Google account back online so I could write tonight's blog. I thought I had it all taken care of but somehow I guess the payment didn't go into the account just right so I've been trying to go alone and try to update the payment process which finally it did. Hopefully I have it online now it'll just do it itself every month. It is so frustrating working with all of this stuff.

Anyway, somehow last night and I don't know how I did this but I've misplaced my glasses. I know I had them at a certain point in time yesterday but all the sudden this morning we couldn't find them. I looked over and over again this morning after Melissa left trying to find the glasses cuz I needed to go and do things- - it was a beautiful day. What I eventually ended up doing however was going up to Walmart with an old pair of glasses that I've had trouble getting fixed over the last couple years. Somehow when I rolled over the glasses at some point in time I've been the frame so bad that the regular folks couldn't figure it out how to fix it. So I figured I would just go up and order a new pair of glasses, with the hope they would fix the broken pair. Trying to get the people at the front desk to help out on something like this is right up there pulling teeth. First they tried to fix glasses and they couldn't and then they said it can't be done. I told them I wanted to have an eye exam and order a new pair of glasses then they started that process which was pretty weird but eventually I got to see the optometrist who's a pretty nice guy. I got a pretty good conversation going and it was a bit of a challenge because all of these testing modules are set up for people who are able-bodied and so anytime a wheelchair goes in for testing they go off ballistic. Eventually however we got the job done. The interesting and best part however was once the optometrist got involved in looking at my broken glasses and taking the challenge and trying to get them fixed it was a whole new ball game. He worked hard and eventually pulled the frames together screwed them pretty tightly and had the lenses locked in tight as well. He's assured me that it won't last very long and hopefully my new lenses and glasses will be here in 10 to 15 days. It cost me 225 but I guess that's the price of doing business and seeing well…

Everyone dies

Craggy faced Robert Redford died today. It's not like I was one of his major fans but I guess kind of deep down I was but perhaps even more than that is that he's a touchstone of my past, he always seemed to be around after a certain point. His movies are classics and he just showed up every once in awhile which I thought was cool. He also joins a host of individuals from my life and past that are all dying- - everyone's dying. Somehow I thought a lot of these icons like Robert Redford would last forever. I know there's human and they're going to perish and die in fact the image they posted of him being 89 shows a man who's pretty well thrashed and that's all right he's earned that. But what really Spooks me as each one of these folks that die brings it closer to the reality that I'm getting ready to die no I'm not being suicidal just being a bit more realistic than I like to be. 

You know I don't know which is worse to live along life and have it dwindle to an end meaning that you're going to dwindle with it and little bit by little bit you're going to lose your ability to do stuff. This kind of scares me to death since I live by myself With a Little Help from My Home Health people. I suppose I'll have to have more and more assistance as I age and dwindle down in abilities. Or I could go out any day as I go about my regular life crossing streets and riding buses. I've noticed lately but I've had a number of close calls when crossing streets people not watching to see if anybody's in the intersection. Sometimes I think I can almost feel the crunch when that car that I don't see who doesn't see me rolls right over me. That's an example of somebody taking me out quickly and maybe I'm done with everything I suppose. The bright side if there is a bright side of something like this is that at least I won't have to degradate myself into submission of total assistance and of possibly going into long-term care. That seems to be a bad thing at least that's what I hear and everyone seems to fight against it and talk about it as if it's the worst thing in the world that can happen to a person. And I suppose there are those facilities that are are bad I just hope I don't inherit one of those when it's time. Every morning when I get up and I transfer from my bed to the chair I am amazed that I've gone through another night unassisted. That excites me enough to get through the rest of the day even on those days when my home health person shows up to help me with my shower and pooping. These are not pleasant things to address but it's just an example of I wouldn't have addressed these 10 years ago I would have been humiliated trying to explain about movement that was unexpected now it's just another thing that happens at this stage of life and it's acceptable somehow I think that's all kind of weird but it's acceptable

Q

Temu

 

Have you seen that weird website called Temu. As I understand it this website is Chinese in origin and they have all these items to purchase very cheap in some cases at no cost at all. In fact I just ordered two items two hats supposedly for free! I mean they have a lot of other stuff that is almost free. It's one of those things where it seems like it's too good to be true and you know what they say about if it's too good to be true then it's probably not. But I've talked to a couple of other people who actually have ordered stuff off of this website and they got exactly what they said they were going to get. Well I didn't pay for these items that I ordered and we'll see if they get here. If they do I'm relatively excited because one is this real great looking winter hat that would be perfect for rolling around in the cold weather we have here. The other is a hat as well, probably good for winter weather but this second hat is not as buff as the one I'm hoping comes. Actually I would have even paid a little bit of real money for this particular product. This website also has a lot of stuff that I'm kind of interested in like fishing leaders that I use for zipper pulls. The website also had items like eyeglass repair kits. Little organized units of tools and items needed to repair glasses everything from the little bitty screwdrivers and screws used to screw the temple onto the glass frames to nose piece replacement items and even some kind of mechanisms that supposedly cleans up scratched lenses. I think if I get my hats that I've”ordered” I'll order one of these eyeglass repair kits. I think the biggest thing I need to be concerned about with this particular site is that it I could really get addicted to all these little bitty Treasures. This is truly one of those sites that offers everything you don't need but, you'd like to have.

Today is one of those perfect Autumn days, not very hot not very cold just right I really should have gone out and done something but I couldn't muster the energy or the interest. I shouldn't waste these beautiful days because there's going to be a lot of cold ones coming in the near future. But I do enjoy just hanging out at the apartment watching a couple movies if they're available or working down a series not quite binging I try to watch like two episodes at a time. I sort of become preoccupied with my puzzles/ actually just one word puzzle family were jumbles. These are basically 8 or 10 words all the letters are jumbled and you have to guess what the letters are to Spill the words correctly. Thank goodness the answers are in the back but I've noticed I've gotten better at doing the actual jumbles or solving the 8 to 10 words. I still use the answer page way too much but it's okay I'm not in the contest with anybody just myself. The only trouble I'm having is that I think I'm at the end of the magazines that are published. I have 2/3 of the puzzle book I'm currently working on and one more volume I have waiting to be challenged. If I'm lucky I'll be able to stretch this out till the first of the year if I do just a couple of the work sets a day. I don't know how often they published new collections but we'll see...

Buckle up!

 With more than a little embarrassment I have to admit that I did not know for Istanbul was located on the map, I didn't know where Istanbul or what country Istanbul is in! I would fail a geography test probably a simple geography test if one were administered to me at this point in my life. I don't think I was ever very good at geography I didn't really understand the course or why we needed to know all the different places in geography class. Now I think I have a better concept of why people need to study things like geography more than I used to. This morning was Sunday morning of course that means getting the family together for breakfast at our local restaurant. Today's Breakfast would be a coming home breakfast for mark Anthony who came back from his journeys two days ago. That's so cool he's been gone for about 3 weeks traveling all over Europe or parts of Europe anyway. I think I have talked about this briefly in other posts about him making friends over the internet from Russia and other places in Europe and he just wanted to go meet them in person and  Mark did. He spent time in Istanbul, London even Greece. He almost went to Egypt which I think would have been totally cool if he could have seen the pyramids. I would have loved to have seen them in this life. He had a couple travel companions as I said so he wasn't alone but I think he was safe and wise has he traveled these areas. I think he now has gotten bit by this travel bug. I don't know how much more traveling he's going to do. I don't know how much he can do and then your future but he's talking about his next country to visit will be Japan. He has a brother living in Japan so he's got a place to stay or at least a point from which to venture out from and I have to worry about pesky hotel prices and hotel living and all that kind of stuff. I don't know how soon he would do such an adventure but certainly he has enough experiences now to keep him going for I think a significant amount of time. I'm sure we will be listening to these Adventures for some time now at our Sunday morning breakfasts. Interesting to note that he's even thinking of trying to develop some kind of Escape Plan if he has to leave the us or just can't tolerate living under the almost totalitarian thumbprint of the local Administration. We did not directly talk about the current political tragedy that happened over at the local University in Utah County this last week. However, the subject matter is very close at hand and we weren't really sure how to go about tapping into that stuff to talk about. I'm sure we will be visiting the topic and subject matter in the next couple of weeks as this works its way through to conclusion of what happens to the perpetrator of the assassination, his family and whatever support network he's able to drum up and there seems to be some sort of a Groundswell that will probably support him. But this also a great deal of folks that are not happy that's what he did. I'm kind of surprised that this is really being treated as significantly as it is. They are equating this assassination with that of JFK's and his brother RFK. I just don't think it's the same at all. It's really kind of hard to believe that dinky little Utah is the focal point for this National if not international incident. The magnifying glass is focusing on our state now for the next however long it will be in the news. But a Stephen King says it's time to buckle up for a rough ride..

Saturday salute

 I'm always startled by how quickly dusk comes in the fall. Even though I know the changes happen in that 6:00 goes to seven it just seems that now it just gets dark so quick it blows me away. It's been a good day Sunshine wise the day could have been a little warmer but luckily I was smart enough to wear my long sleeve shirt today. Yesterday I wore a short sleeve shirt and was sorry all day long. I should have changed but I just figured painting was too much work it would make an extra piece of laundry to consider as well come Wednesday. I broke my routine this Saturday as well. I didn't go over to coffee at the coffee shop next door. No particular reason except I just didn't want to sit by myself again for however long I go when I go. I don't think I'm going to radically change my coffee shop attendance but I think I'll scale back until I can find another coffee partner. If I was better skilled in social skills perhaps things would be different but I am what I am. I used to think I was this great social guy but you know I don't think I really ever was. I think I'm terribly shy even though that's hard to believe. So I stayed home listen to NPR messed around the kitchen and the other apartment places. I did some puzzles from my word book and went across the street to primarily get a thermometer but I picked up some grapes as well. I needed a thermometer because during the night I woke and thought sure I had a bladder infection. I don't know if I'm just becoming more and more hypercondriacle but I thought perhaps some of the symptoms I was having was that of a bladder infection. So I figured I would have a fever if I had an infection but when I got up and looked around the bathroom I couldn't find my thermometer anywhere. This was a good enough reason to Sandy to go to the market to find another- - which I did. Luckily I did not have a fever which I think means I don't have a bladder infection at least not significant to the point that it's causing me to have a fever. I just think I make these boogies up during the night when I have too much time to think that's dangerous.

The rest of the day I spent goofing around the apartment and heading out to the patio where I spent time reading. I think I like this new book I'm reading the one by Bill Clinton has another writer who I sort of have a hard time with his writing style. James Patterson is the guy's name and I've read a number of his volumes. He writes very short chapters almost punchy if that makes any sense. It makes for a fast read which I appreciate it just seems weird to have all these one and two page chapters. I think the book would still be as long regardless I just don't understand his writing style. I got this book primarily to see how Bill Clinton writes. You never know how much the person is riding when they team up with a rather proliferous writer such as Patterson. How much of the book is Clinton and how much is Patterson. I'd like to believe that Clinton did most of the writing but I sorry I don't really believe that. The clouds came in high clouds just enough to block the Sun and it really wasn't that warm to begin with so I folded the book and came back to the apartment to enjoy my large screen and do a little bit more binging on Netflix…

Canner!

 

 I believe the regular reader or even the occasional breeder probably has felt my prejudiced towards artificial intelligence or AI. I'm just having a hard time dealing with artificial intelligence after all the movies I've seen where the AIS go weirdo crazy and take over the world one way or the other. And I've talked about my Prejudice towards AIS that try to get me to interact with them on the Internet one way or the other. I just don't want to have anything to do with them now having said that, I have to confess that I'm beginning to build a little bit of excitement at the prospect of someday soon being able to purchase a robot that can Aid me in my attempts to be as independent as possible for as long as possible. I know this is a weird sounding concept but it's really a possibility I believe especially as I keep seeing these videos Almost from everywhere now on the internet about the possibilities or what or what these robots are able to do. Now I don't know if you were to get or if I were to get a robot do they come with artificial intelligence? Could you get one that's artificially dumb that is will take Direction but not do anything on its own? One of the most worrisome things I face is what happens to me when I fall out of my chair or my bed especially during the transfer maneuver. I also have some issues about dressing myself independently. As it is now I can do about 95% of my dressing just a few little things like pulling the shorts up over my hips and sometimes getting my shoes on. I don't know if a robot would be able to do this at this point in time but what I'm seeing them do in some of the the videos is that they could actually assist. If I were to fall out of my chair could I get a robot to pick me up and put me back onto the bed or back to the chair. Or could I have a robot shower me in toilet me much as I do my caregivers now? These are really interesting questions that I'm thinking about and hoping might become a reality at some point in time in the near future. I'm reticent to bring this up with any of my professional caregiver types you know PT's Otis and see what they would say to such a question. I wonder if the occupational therapist OT would be the most open to something like this? Would you see this is a threat to my Independence or an extension of my ability to be independent and take care of myself even with the robot. From what it looks like on the internet I don't think the robots are not going to come. They are definitely out there amassing or we are amassing large groups of robots and I'm not really quite sure why right now .

Rice is nice

I've been craving white rice and soy sauce for a couple weeks now. A week ago I got a reprieve when Tim fixed the dish for me that had quite a bit of white rice with it. I enjoyed it immensely to the point that I started looking around my pantry to see if I had any bags of white rice left. Fortunately, I did. One of the benefits of people who empty their food boxes once they get them is that many of them don't want their white rice and bags and bags of end up on the giveaway table. Sometime along the line I've grabbed one and stuck it in my pantry. I still don't think I'm a very good white rice maker- - a rice maker in general as far as that goes. I have not been trying enough lately either that's got to change. So tonight with the new found bag of white rice I started the process. I do not have a definitive answer about what do you do or can you use the white water that results when you rinse your rice before cooking. Is it okay to use it or do you try to wash as much white substance off the rice as possible Ben what is it possible usable. These are all questions I do not have an answer to so I've gone with the solution of bathe the rice once pour off the white Water bathe it again and pour off that water then dump it into the saucepan to boil and let stand on that poof up into nice lumps of rice.

Well like I said earlier today I got the notion that I wanted to do some real cooking to make something I be able to eat for a day or so of course that's Frank basically rice and vegetables and whatever meat product I have on hand and I still have most of the chicken that I got from the market over the weekend. I've used a little bit of it so far when the leg of the chicken but I liberated a whole breast which I'll use this my meat base. I needed celery and something else green if I could find it and at least another onion so off to the market I went. 18 popsicles two stickers, two onions and a number of pieces of celery. I found that buying the celery already chopped up in the Sticks and just buying three or four of them at a time is a lot cheaper and a lot less wasteful than when I buy a hole stock of celery used one or two pieces and the rest goes into limp status in the vegetable crisper her limper however you want to call it. I did the rice covered it so it would absorb the moisture went to work on the vegetables chop chop same with the chicken breast Chop Chop slice slice and I had enough mixed with the vegetables cuz I got them softened up for the rice. I had a bunch of baby carrots I was going to use for a project a month or so ago and they've been in the refrigerator and I was pleased to see that they were still viable so I threw those in the mix after I got the vegetables soft to appoint it I added the rice mixed it up really well then covered for a 30 to 45 minutes on simmer to finish cooking the whole mess. The Frank came out okay. I always forget to use the chicken bouillon that you're supposed to use with the water that you cook the rice in that would give it a richer chicken flavor but as happy with the way it turned out. I actually had two smallish bowls for dinner and I felt accomplished and practical totally enjoyed a meal I made for myself, I've missed that…

Just.. pooped

 I will be the first to admit that sleeping on who is a bit challenging but I was so tired by the time it was bedtime I just wanted to get some sleep. I figured the easiest way was to use pads and I have a bunch that I don't really use for my main mattress protection but the pads are really good for cleaning up messes especially poo misses as well as some protection. So wrapped myself up pretty good and used one of the pads to cover the mattress are the sheet and that was okay. Mercifully The the bottom sheet and the top sheet took the major hit. I was totally surprised at how well I slept swallowing the basic bedding down. Interestingly I woke up after I thought was hours and hours and it was 1:15 a.m. I think I've been asleep less than an hour. I was even more surprised when I turned over and went back to sleep and woke up again around 5:00 a.m. I had gotten some pretty decent sleep and no problems. I was so pleased to be back to my old self when Melissa was done with me but I just hung around the apartment except for a short joint over to the market and enjoyed my living space. I really am quite thankful to be where I'm at at this point in my life. Now if I could just stay poop  free for the relatively near future I'll be happy as a clam. 

Wow! I literally just fell asleep sitting here next to the bed. It's not even 9:30 p.m. but I guess I'm still pretty tired from the lack of sleep last night even though it sounded like I did okay. So this is going to be another short one I suppose. I hope I'm back to normal..

 

All pooped out

 Today has not necessarily been good but then again it is not necessarily been bad either. During the night I pooped the bed- - again!? What is going on with me? I don't think I had diarrhea or sick like that but I did what I did there's no question about it. This morning about 3:00 a.m. I woke up having to pee badly- - I try to hold off as long as I can but I figured I was going to have to use my bag so I did so but then realized the back of my hand was covered with poo I couldn't believe it. I am usually totally aware of any time I have an accident like this but not last night. It must have just happened but it shouldn't have because yesterday's bowel movement was pretty significant. I thought I had pretty well evacuated the bow this morning or yesterday morning. I thought sure I was good for at least one night and day. Luckily I had a bunch of pads next to my bed that I keep there for situations like this so that I can isolate the issue at least maybe get back to sleep or something. I kind of dozed off and on I even sent a text to my caregiver. She did not get back to me till much later in the morning. I wasn't sure what I wanted I didn't know if I wanted her to come over and clean me up this morning or just what. Then I got to thinking I'm not going to see her again until Wednesday morning tomorrow. If I could isolate the poo and then get myself up and get myself somewhat cleaned up I could just hang out at the apartment all day. I was supposed to go to assist this morning for my regular meeting but I was no way going to be able to do that. Didn't want to necessarily spend the money for Melissa to come out and do a special clean up on me so I decided to wait it out. Must find the contact me indicating that she would not be able to make it over till 3:00 in the afternoon that's what I really made the decision that my then wouldn't make much difference. So eventually got myself up and luckily I wasn't too messed up so I eventually got dressed and pretty much hung out the rest of the day. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to get through tonight without any more issues maybe get myself back on schedule tomorrow at some point especially after my regular meeting with Melissa for my shower and my regular bowel movement. Hope I'm not going through a major change...

...

Exhaustive Monday

 I'm not sure if this entry tonight will make much sense. I'm kind of exhausted it's not that it's been that busy of a day it's just that I've been up quite a while waking up this morning around 3:15 a.m. and not really getting back to sleep. I went to a movie today I guess you would call it a musical. The film was called Hamilton which is fairly famous piece of work. I've heard so much about this thing and I wasn't sure if I would be able to really sit through the whole thing. I enjoyed the film it was sometimes a little hard to follow but kind of interesting. I don't know if I could sit through the whole thing again but I might try to go maybe again I think it might be on Netflix as well or soon will be on one of the platforms anyway. I was amazed at how a little bit I knew or know about it American history. I should be embarrassed I probably am a little bit but the film was good. I would recommend it.

I went to an 11:00 a.m. showing of the film. Like I've said before I like to get my viewing done early in the day if I can believe in me the rest of the day too goof off, read, sleep maybe even do something productive. True as well I was the only person in the theater I never get used to that and I really quite enjoy the experience. I didn't have any issue at all literally singing an along with the on stage actors. Not that I knew the lyrics but I could figure some of them out before they were sung particularly catchy choruses that were repeated over and over again. I could literally yell / sing my lungs out and nobody would hear me out in the audience because I'm the only one there. Singing out like that was kind of fun I wish that there had been captions running under the screen. The piece is long very long. It says 3 hours I do not believe the film was 3 hours long but it was probably close. I was led into the auditorium about 11:00 and didn't get out until 2:00 something in the afternoon. You got to figure out at least 30 minutes waiting for the motion picture to start. But the film did feel long no question about it. Well I can see I'm not making much sense and I'm just so rattling on so I will close for tonight maybe post something better tomorrow.